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Michael & Deanne's Wedding

Father of the Groom's Speech

It goes without saying that Polly and I are absolutely delighted to be part of this beautiful union. But if the truth be told, this is one day we never thought we’d see. You see Michael is truly one of a kind. There are no examples of his personality in any textbooks. Let me give you two example of his “specialness”.

First…

When Mike was 14 he apparently felt it was time to start driving. I should have picked up on his passion for driving because quite often, as I went off to work in the morning, I noticed the garage was unusually warm as was the hood of my car. But I never put two and two together. Until one night when Polly and I were awakened by a knock on the door to face two extremely huge handsome policemen with Michael in tow. I invited them in. They explained that they had been following our car around the neighbourhood for some time because they could barely see anyone behind the wheel. However they mentioned, Michael proved to be very polite and was an extraordinarily good driver considering his size and age. By now my wife had joined the meeting but she was more focused on the majesty of these two giant studs.

Next weekend the same thing happened … but this time Polly was ready. When that doorbell rang, she flew out of bed – her hair all pre-coiffed and her face all tarted up with lipstick. And… this was two in the morning. Polly graciously suggested that I go back to sleep – she’d handle it. The studs related the same story - great kid, terrific driver but they made it clear that if this happened again he’d have to spend the night at the police station. Polly tried to focus on what would seem to most as a serious issue - but these huge men dominated both the room and her attention. The next day I had a heart to heart with Mike. Well, actually I barked while Mike stared right through me – presumably planning his next outing. I asked him how he managed to find my keys which I took great pains to hide? And how did he open the garage without anyone hearing? Nothing. I said if this happens again the cops will take you to the clink and we won’t be there to pick you up. You’ll be on your own. Still nothing.

Sure enough the following week the studs were back, Polly was waiting but this time Mike was left sitting in the cop car. They said he’d be released the following morning. Polly reluctantly supported my tough love stance that Mike was now on his own. The following morning I was off on a Caribbean cruise with my three brothers so it was left to Polly to drop off some belongings at the police station – but no money, as we agreed. I flew off and Polly dropped off some clothes, his guitar and a booklet of McDonald’s coupons. She said that experience was probably the worst of her life. Michael was apparently released soon thereafter and lived elsewhere for the next SIX months! We never quite knew where. When he did finally return home, he was the same polite, loving son – totally respectful to Polly and I - never hesitating to do all and any chores around the house. Time passed and once he got his driver’s license he blossomed into a vibrant young man.

Now, here’s the SECOND part…

We noticed Mike never brought any girls around the house – or anyone for that matter. So, as loving parents, we simply assumed he was gay. In our minds, this was confirmed by the fact that one of his best buddies, Johann - sitting over there, was a male model who didn’t drink or do drugs. So what the hell were these two doing together? Years later we discovered they were building a world class, high speed go-cart - which, by the way, was also illegal to drive on the streets. Before we knew it, Michael went to college, bought a condo, worked hard and partied harder. While we couldn’t always figure out what made Michael tick, we always loved our gay son.

Then out of the blue, Dee walked into his life. And, as is typical of Mike, he did the unexpected. He fell in love - as did we. Dee is a bright, beautiful, hardworking career woman. Whenever we ask Dee if they would like to get together for any family function she always responds without hesitation, “We’re in – what can we bring?” That means a lot to Polly and me. So, while it seems we’ve lost our special son, we have gained an extraordinary daughter.

In closing I would like to welcome not only Deanne, but her mother, father and sister - Lorie and Pat and Melinda to our family with love. On behalf of Polly and myself and all those who have come here this evening – one more toast to the love and happiness of Michael and Deanne.